Happy Adoption Day

Dear Zachary,

Tomorrow marks the day when it has been two years since you became my forever son, and I your forever dad. I still remember the day...we were part of the National Adoption Day celebration at Exploration Place. It was raining, but the rain was not going to stop us from anything that day... especially becoming a forever family.

We waited for our turn to see the judge. He said he had a cookie with the name Zachary on it, and wondered who it belonged to. You gingerly raised your hand, and were excited to get the treat.

The whole thing took less than two minutes... it was the 55 weeks before that day when we did all the work. We learned during that time how to be a family. I learned how to take care of you as you taught me new things every day. You were a very good teacher, and I was very lucky.

People tell me that you are so lucky to have been adopted, and that I have made such wonderful changes to your life. But they don't know what I know... I know that I am the one that is lucky. Being your dad has been nothing short of life changing. You have taught be patience, you have taught me the importance of forgiveness, you have taught me selflessness and how to treasure time. You have taught me that words can help, but they can sometimes hurt, so be careful with them. You have taught me how to teach shoe-tying, how to play tooth-fairy, and the best hiding places for the grown up snacks.

You have taught me how to kick around a soccer ball, how to survive a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party, and the exact temperature for macaroni and cheese. But the most important thing of all that you taught me is this: Loving a child and watching him grow is the best feeling in the world.... it is the best gift in the world... and that's why I am the lucky one. To receive this beautiful gift from you... the gift of unconditional love as I learn to be your dad... is a gift in which I can never repay. And that is why, I am the one who is lucky..... Lucky to be your dad and call you my son.

You are misunderstood, my dear son. The world does not always get to see you the way that I do... others do not get to see the way you will comfort during upset, the way that you take care of your cat like he is a human, the tenderness of your goodnight kisses, and the notes that you write for me. They do not get to see how you can follow directions, get yourself ready for school in the morning, and tell me that you love me...out of the blue. Someday, the world will get to see those things in you, but for now, I'll be the one cheering you on and sticking up for you as your learn your way around the hard parts.

As I think about our world and your future, I admit that I get nervous. But kid, you and I have been through a lot, and I don't think there is anything this world can throw at us that we can't handle. We have moved across town and now across the country and you have blindly followed your dad on all these adventures... holding my hand all along the way. I love you, my dear son, with my everything.

And that is why you are my hero. You have learned things that even grown-ups don't know how to do.. how to give the gift of unconditional love. You have so much to give the world.... I just hope the world is ready for you!

Happy Adoption Day. Thanks for picking me.

I love you.

Dad

Basketball

Dear Zachary,

Dad was not looking forward to eight weeks of basketball games and practices. But, I signed you up because you really wanted to play. I'm glad I did.... I got an opportunity to see your kindness and team spirit. I wish I was a dad that knew how to work with you and sports and home, or at least had the drive to try. But, there is plenty of time for that. You're only six now and we are just having fun.

Last week, you had the ball at a game and when your coach told you to pass it, you accidentally passed it so a player on the other team. A rude parent sitting close to me and obviously not knowing I was your father, made rude comments about you.Which is ironic because her son doesn't seem too interested in the game and doesn't play well.  Then at your next game, a parent had to be absent, and so her sitter made rude comments about you, saying you got the ball too much from the coach and it wasn't fair.  I wish these two adults knew what I'm about to tell you.

What the sitter didn't know is that today was your birthday party, and I told the coach that you might be very tired, and it was okay for you to just play the first quarter and sit out the rest of the game. That is why you got the ball so much the first quarter. It wasn't because you were a favorite, it was because the coach knew you'd be sitting out and wanted you to get to play at least a little.

She also didn't know that the little boy she was babysitting was your good friend that you've hung out with a lot and was invited to your party that day but couldn't come.

What the parent doesn't know is how kind you were trying to be to her kid, even though she was making rude comments about you. When we got into the car, you said to me, "You know that little guy that dribbles really little and never gets the ball?" I said, "Yes, what about him?" You said, "Well since he hasn't got to make a basket I tried a bunch of times to pass the ball to him, but he was never looking." I wonder how that parent who thinks you're so horrible would feel if she knew that you have never made a basket during a game either, and wanted him to make one first.

And that's why you're my hero. You care about other people and their feelings. Teachers, parents, and other adults see your trauma on the outside..... they don't know about the love you have on the inside. I can't wait until you get to a place that the world can see who you really are. You will shine bright.

I love you.

Dad